Momo/Ultrasound/NICU Tour/Happy Birthdays

Introducing MOMO!

Isn't she stunning!!!!

Jim and I spent the weekend in San Diego visiting Momo.   She looks fantastic and we are still So Amazed at her attitude.   Although hospital bed rest cannot be easy, she makes it look so.   She has some excellent nurses taking care of her and her positive attitude is seen by everyone.   At one point, we were laughing so hard, we were told we needed to 'keep it down'....although i secretly think the nurses really like all the commotion in Momo's room as the other 'residents' of her floor are typically rather somber, depressed, angry or sad.   Momo smiles and laughs with everyone who comes into her room (otherwise known as The Princess Suite) so she get's lots of attention and we are happy about that.   She does have One Rule though:  To Enter Here,  You Must Bring Food!     So take note if you are visiting.....  HA.

Dr D came to see her yesterday and decided it was time for another ultrasound.  (We hadn't seen the babies since the 25th of July, so we were very excited to see how they were doing and how Momo's cervix was holding up after the surgery).   Dr was very happy to see that all the babies are weighing in at a little over 2 lbs each.   Baby A (girl) is still sitting very low on M's cervix.   Baby B (boy) has now turned breach and baby C (girl) has turned head down.   Each baby has plenty of fluid surrounding them (a good thing) and all baby's heart rates/growth rates are perfectly on schedule.   M says Baby girls A and C are the most active and Baby boy B is very chill (that is, until the heart monitors go on and he runs for the hills!)

The BEST news is that Morgan's cervix has doubled in size since the surgery!   Her cervix is measuring at 2.4 cm.....so bed rest is really working for her and all the babies.   We were all very happy about that news and feel that we are going to be in good shape over the next few weeks while the babies continue to grow/develop.

We were pushing for M to have wheelchair privileges but the Dr said "not until 28 weeks"   We love our Dr D and, although M was disappointed, we know that he has Momo, the jelly beans and peanut's best interests at heart and 28 weeks is only 10 days away.   That said, he did allow us all to take the NICU tour so M could get out of her room for a half hour or so.

The NICU tour was enlightening, scary and sweet at the same time.   There were some very sick babies in there which was hard to see but the nurses are SO passionate about what they do, you could tell that all the babies were very well cared for (and Loved).   Each baby has it's own team of 2 specialized nurses at any one time who rotate on 12 hour shifts.  One Neonatalogist and one Anesthesiologist are on duty 24 hours a day so these babies have everything they need.   Although the NICU can be a very scary place, we felt comfortable knowing that if our babies have to spend time there, they will be in The Best place they could possibly be to get well enough to come home to us......

Happy 12th Birthday to my niece Madison yesterday, Happy Birthday to Bubbles today and a very Happy Birthday tomorrow to my partner, my love and A, B and C's Daddy.  Love you all. 

26 Weeks (Hospital - 21 days)

Here we are at 26 weeks!!!!! Morgan is still a Rock Star and handling everything (except the terrible hospital food) very well. Contractions have slowed or are non-existent and that is great news. Cora and all the girls from Modern Family Surrogacy Center (THE Best in the business in my opinion) have been taking care of her in our absence and doing an Amazing job I might add!

Vacation has been great but really missed being close to Morgan and the jelly beans so I am heading back from the East Coast early to avoid Irene and to see them all on Saturday!!!!

So happy to report that all is calm in our world at the moment. Next goal is 28 weeks!!!!!

25 Weeks (Hospital - 14 days)

Yesterday we were 25 weeks along. Morgan is doing great and settling in for what is hopefully a long stay. Jim and I are on the east coast for what is likely our last vacation for a while. All is good and stable in our world. Thank you to those who have reached out to us and to Morgan. Your support means to world to all of us. Next stop is 26 weeks!!!!!

24 Weeks (Hospital - 7 days)

We have made it through the first 'milestone' of 24 weeks when most doctors feel the babies are considered 'viable' and could live outside the womb.   Of course we hope to go the distance but it is nice to breathe a little easier knowing that we have reached 24.  Morgan is stable with 4 or so contractions per monitoring hour.   She cannot feel the contractions which the doctor says is good news.  He says that if Morgan were at home, rather than in the hospital (where they know everything), she wouldn't even know the contractions were there so he isn't concerned at the number.  He will be more concerned if the number or the intensity increases.   Rather than look so far ahead to 34 weeks, he (and we) are looking at 2 week goals.   Our first goal is to get to 26 weeks and we all think that is possible.   Morgan is still strong and chill and we are confident that the doctors are taking excellent care of her and that she is in the best hands.  So wish us luck as we move on to 26!

Don't forget to email Morgan at momobear3@gmail.com

Momo Bear [momobear3@gmail.com]

JR and I get a lot of questions about the surrogate process… one of the most common is “How did you select your surrogate?”    I think what they really mean is “what do two gay men know about what it takes to carry a baby?”  Well we didn’t know very much that is true.  Other than medical history, previous pregnancies, and personality, we weren’t sure what else to consider.

We first met Morgan over the phone in January while we were on a ski vacation in Deer Valley.   She seemed very nice but I didn’t get too attached as I was still skeptical whether we were really following through this time (we got cold feet just before the previous TWO transfers… but that story will be told in another LONG blog entry).  As JR and I kept pushing the baby train forward, we decided to meet Morgan and invited her and her 6 year old son Robby to come stay with us in LA for the weekend.   When JR bent down to shake Robby’s hand, Robby said “I’m a hugger!” and proceeded to wrap his little arms around JR's waist.  At that point,we were hooked!  Anyone who could raise such an adorable boy like Robby is good enough for us.  Morgan is an amazing mother and you can tell that by the relationship she has with her son so we knew immediately that we had found our surrogate mother...and a bonus surrogate brother.  Our baby train was now full steam ahead. 

Up next for Morgan were weeks of daily shots (with long scary needles), oral meds, blood work, and many doctor visits but never a complaint.  Then the transfer of embryos, three days of complete bed rest, the surprise of triplets, and the months of morning sickness and never a complaint.  Then this past Saturday, when the doctor recommended an emergency cerclage (or corsage as “Bubbles” likes to call it) to keep those babies in, she was onboard 100% and said she would do whatever it takes to save the babies.   And yet still, after the drama of the surgery and the realization that her next 10+ weeks would be spent lying on her side in a hospital bed, she NEVER complained.  She would miss back-to-school shopping with Robby, afternoon swims in her backyard pool, baby showers in LA, and most importantly, standing up as the Maid of Honor at her sister’s wedding.  Ugh, we feel horrible and yet she is taking it all in stride.   She is disappointed, we know that.  But she is confident, resilient and strong in her conviction that our babies need her more now than ever and she is going to make sure she gives them everything they need until they are ready to meet the world.

Needless to say there were a lot of tears this past weekend.  Tears worrying about Morgan, about our babies and the pregnancy, but also tears of gratitude and pride that Morgan is our surrogate.   Thank you Momo.   You have shown us the true meaning of “Surrogacy” for not only are you carrying our children, but you are carrying our hearts.   We Love You.

So, in answer to the question: “How do you select your surrogate?”.  The answer is you look for a Mama Bear (or in our case a Momo Bear!)  You look for someone willing to protect her babies at all costs and has a family behind her who believes and supports all that she is doing.   JR and I didn’t realize how much Mama Bear we really had in Morgan until this past weekend.  We hit the jackpot with her and her entire family.   They are all sacrificing SO much to keep our babies safe and protected and we couldn’t be more grateful.

If you want to reach out to our Momo Bear and share your stories, or just wish her well and keep her entertained, we have set up a special email account for her to hear from you.     Please feel free to email her at momobear3@gmail.com.  Help us to keep her spirits up and to remain strong.  She’ll be lovin on those three babies before you know it.

Momo. . . and the (not so) Angry Uterus. . .

Just a brief update for those that don't know.   Morgan is in the hospital on bed rest but thankfully is doing great.   She had her 23 week appointment last Thursday and the doctor discovered that her cervix had shortened from 3.9 cm the week before to 1.5 cm.   She wasn't experiencing any contractions (or so we thought), but the doctor admitted her into the hospital immediately for observation.   The hospital nurses immediately set her up on monitors where it was discovered that she was having contractions (4 or more per hour).   The doctor put her on medication to stop the contractions and quiet her uterus down.  Friday afternoon she was still having contractions so he decided to wait another day before determining the course of action to take.

Jim and I drove down very early Saturday morning and arrived before Morgan woke up.   She was groggy and nauseous with all the meds but was in generally good spirits all things considered.   The doctor took another look and said her cervix had shorted to 1.2cm.  Since Morgan couldn't feel the contractions, the doctor didn't feel that they were strong enough to cause the cervix to shorten.  His conclusion was that the issues she was having were the result of an 'incompetent cervix'.   Had he known this, he would have put in a precautionary cerclage (a stitch to keep the cervix closed) around week 14 - 16 as waiting any longer brings greater risks.   Since we were at 23 weeks + 2 days gestation, he was conflicted.  He said due to risks and liability, 8 of 10 doctors would not perform a cerclage this late but he felt that if it were his own wife/child, he would go for it. 

We had two choices:  to 'wait and see' OR try the cerclage.   If we chose the first option, we risked that Morgan's cervix would continue to shorten and eventually her water would break and the babies would be born.  If we chose the cerclage, we risked infection to Morgan and/or the babies, risked a perforation of Morgan's bladder or risked rupture of one of the baby's membranes/sac and Morgan would go into labor immediately.   Since the earliest the babies are viable is 24 weeks, we were more likely to lose the babies if she went into labor this soon so neither choice was clear.

Jim and I looked at Morgan and she turned to the doctor and said "do whatever you need to do to keep the babies inside".   She said she was 'not going to give birth to the babies this early'.   She had no idea but her statement brought us to our knees.   We were so humbled by her at that moment and to this day don't know where her strength came from as we were all terrified of what might happen in the next few hours.   That said, she was adamant that it was the right decision and with Morgan's conviction, the doctor's confidence and our feeling that we would regret not doing 'everything' we could to save our children, we all gave our consent to perform the surgery.

After an hour and a half of waiting, worrying, talking to Morgan's mom, to Bubbles and to my mom, the doctor came out of surgery and told us that he was very pleased with the result.  He said the next 24 or 48 hours would be telling as Morgan's uterus would be 'very angry' and that she could expect a lot of cramping, contractions and pain/discomfort.   Although he was pleased with the surgery, we would just have to wait to see if the cerclage was successful.   Needless to say, we were relieved but still worried of what the next 24 - 48 hours would bring.  Would the cerclage hold and just how angry would her uterus be?

After a few hours we got a call from Morgan that she was awake and ready for us to come back in.   Fearing that she would be in extreme pain, we cautiously went back in.....only to find her in a great mood with color in her skin and a SMILE on her face!!!  What?   Jim and I were pale as ghosts and here she was a few hours post surgery and smiling!   She said that she 'could tell they did something down there' but she wasn't in that much pain....only some discomfort.   Wow.  This woman is a Rock Star! 

Sunday morning Morgan called us first thing and said she only had ONE contraction during the night and she was hungry!   Those were THE best words we have ever heard.   We arrived with breakfast and she looked Great!   The first thing she said was "What Angry Uterus?   Take that Dr. D!"  Ha  Leave it to Morgan to find humor in all this!   Although she will most likely be in the hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy, she is in good spirits and committed to keeping the babies in for as long as she possibly can and we are so thankful that we have this hurdle behind us. 

We drove home last night thinking that we were the luckiest guys in the world to have the team we have behind us..... Our children are already so loved and supported by amazing family and friends, an incredible and talented doctor and, most importantly,  a wonderful, supportive, committed woman who we are so very proud to say is not only our friend but a member of our family.
This weekend Morgan showed us the true meaning of Love.   They say "Love Makes a Family" and Morgan is forever a member of ours.    

PLEASE. . . PLEASE. . . PLEASE. . . .NO MINI-VAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There, I said it....I''m putting it out into the UNIVERSE.
I'm hoping that someone, some 'Higher Power', hears me, grants this wish and convinces Jim that a MV (I can't even say the name) is a BIG MISTAKE!
I see all these other dads of multiples buying the Ford Expedition, the Mercedes/Lexus SUV or the Toyota Sequoia (my favorite).   All are great cars that will carry us and our circus act and still have room for the strollers, the diaper bag, the snack bag and Grandma,  Momo or Bubbles when they visit!
So do you think we could pick one of those great choices?   ...um NO!    Jim wants a mini-van period end-of-discussion.  Really?!?!  Can I bribe him into another choice?  um NO!
He has gone so far as to have narrowed "his" search down to the Toyota Sienna or the Honda Odyssey.   I guess the AMC Pacer and the Ford Pinto were no longer in production!   He says he will pick Black just to make it more 'cool'.......UGG
Isn't there a Porsche 4 seat passenger car we could outfit to accommodate us?   How about a BMW X 5 with a roof rack for the snack pack and Bubbles??? ha
I'm just hoping that Jim changes his mind and goes for something more.....well, I would say 'practical' but then that would BE the mini-van.  Maybe I'm hoping that he goes for something more.....affordable (ok - mini-van) or fuel efficient (Gawd - mini-van).  Is there really no other choice???
Ok, so I know having triplets is suppose to make me more responsible and mature...but truthfully, I just can't bring myself to the realization that we are quickly becoming 'those people' .......and you know what I'm talking about.  There has to be another way.  We papa/dad combos are usually known for our fashion, our design sense and our style.....and a mini-van just doesn't fit!
So, unless I can convince him otherwise, I am looking at a minimum of 60 months of hard labor in mini-van prison...
Where is Carson Kressley or Nate Berkus when I need them?   I'm sure they could whip up an alternative to the mini-van in two seconds and save me from the inevitable.....Oh well, I can wish can't I?