JR and I get a lot of questions about the surrogate process… one of the most common is “How did you select your surrogate?” I think what they really mean is “what do two gay men know about what it takes to carry a baby?” Well we didn’t know very much that is true. Other than medical history, previous pregnancies, and personality, we weren’t sure what else to consider.
We first met Morgan over the phone in January while we were on a ski vacation in Deer Valley. She seemed very nice but I didn’t get too attached as I was still skeptical whether we were really following through this time (we got cold feet just before the previous TWO transfers… but that story will be told in another LONG blog entry). As JR and I kept pushing the baby train forward, we decided to meet Morgan and invited her and her 6 year old son Robby to come stay with us in LA for the weekend. When JR bent down to shake Robby’s hand, Robby said “I’m a hugger!” and proceeded to wrap his little arms around JR's waist. At that point,we were hooked! Anyone who could raise such an adorable boy like Robby is good enough for us. Morgan is an amazing mother and you can tell that by the relationship she has with her son so we knew immediately that we had found our surrogate mother...and a bonus surrogate brother. Our baby train was now full steam ahead.
Up next for Morgan were weeks of daily shots (with long scary needles), oral meds, blood work, and many doctor visits but never a complaint. Then the transfer of embryos, three days of complete bed rest, the surprise of triplets, and the months of morning sickness and never a complaint. Then this past Saturday, when the doctor recommended an emergency cerclage (or corsage as “Bubbles” likes to call it) to keep those babies in, she was onboard 100% and said she would do whatever it takes to save the babies. And yet still, after the drama of the surgery and the realization that her next 10+ weeks would be spent lying on her side in a hospital bed, she NEVER complained. She would miss back-to-school shopping with Robby, afternoon swims in her backyard pool, baby showers in LA, and most importantly, standing up as the Maid of Honor at her sister’s wedding. Ugh, we feel horrible and yet she is taking it all in stride. She is disappointed, we know that. But she is confident, resilient and strong in her conviction that our babies need her more now than ever and she is going to make sure she gives them everything they need until they are ready to meet the world.
Needless to say there were a lot of tears this past weekend. Tears worrying about Morgan, about our babies and the pregnancy, but also tears of gratitude and pride that Morgan is our surrogate. Thank you Momo. You have shown us the true meaning of “Surrogacy” for not only are you carrying our children, but you are carrying our hearts. We Love You.
So, in answer to the question: “How do you select your surrogate?”. The answer is you look for a Mama Bear (or in our case a Momo Bear!) You look for someone willing to protect her babies at all costs and has a family behind her who believes and supports all that she is doing. JR and I didn’t realize how much Mama Bear we really had in Morgan until this past weekend. We hit the jackpot with her and her entire family. They are all sacrificing SO much to keep our babies safe and protected and we couldn’t be more grateful.
If you want to reach out to our Momo Bear and share your stories, or just wish her well and keep her entertained, we have set up a special email account for her to hear from you. Please feel free to email her at firstname.lastname@example.org. Help us to keep her spirits up and to remain strong. She’ll be lovin on those three babies before you know it.